Person of interest 2023: the longlist

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The not-for-profit prophet was fired while ministering to a cybernated spirit trumpet, then rehired after those left in charge couldn’t figure out how anything was meant to work. Ignoring this parable costs $86bn.

[How to talk to an elderly relative about Altman and OpenAI — FTAV]

Like the woman at the church fête whose rictus grin keeps tightening while her drunk, pantsless spouse threatens to punch a cow.

[Why Linda Yaccarino took on the wildest job in Silicon Valley — FT]

Pecksniff-in-chief of the 2023 VC shite flight, whose histrionic all-caps tweeting helped socialise a few weeks of blitzscale losses for virtual girlfriend apps and brought to light the regulatory risk of having a bank that catered exclusively to vacant, shameless jerks.

[How Silicon Valley learnt to love the government — FT]

“The answer is absolutely not” has overtaken “this time it’s different” as the most expensive phrase in the English language. A moment on Reuters TV, a lifetime in the Rub’ al Khali.

[The rise and fall of the bank that built modern Switzerland — FT]

A plutocratic parallel-universe Patrick Bateman whose perversion is for prolix memos rather than murder.

[Bill Ackman, macro tourist, is back — FTAV]

Whether tearing itself apart or barely holding it together, EY is ready to advise on corporate transformations that can’t possibly flame out any worse than its own.

[Project Everest survivor with a mountain to climb — FT]

Kraken’s co-founder, chair and largest shareholder (a culture warrior, conspiracy theorist, anti-regulation accelerationist and libertarian manifesto writer with a business history of in-game loot trading and a recent brush with the law over the alleged cyberstalking of an arts centre charity) is by a process of elimination the current establishment grandee of crypto.

[Why the FBI raided Kraken founder’s home — Amy Castor]

An Austrian actor, director and comedian whose production credits don’t include The Office, Extras, The Invention of Lying, and An Idiot Abroad.

[Signa unravelled: inside René Benko’s debt-laden property empire — FT]

Guys. C’mon. While there's still a chance of recovering 6 or maybe 7 cents on the dollar.

[Fact-checking some dull bits of Elon Musk’s biography — FTAV]

Right about now, the junk shell brother.
Cash flow doubt now, the junk shell brother.
Market rout now, the junk shell brother.
Checking out now, the junk shell brother.

[Adani’s billionaire brother starts to retreat as scrutiny builds — Bloomberg]

A bait-and-switch promotional device used extensively in the online business media.

[Why is it so hard to work out how much money Swift is making? — FTAV]

Those are our nominations. Yours go in the comment box.

Further reading: FTAV PoI 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014