Here’s your chance to own Rene Benko’s bog brush

Everything must go! The Signa firesale trepidatious lenders to René Benko’s imploding luxury property empire have been waiting for has begun.

Finally, the chance has arrived to help some of EMEA’s most sagacious family offices, sovereign wealth funds and banks regain a part of the €15bn+ they lent to the billionaire convicted felon and the 1000+ company network (accounts not consolidated) he controlled which absolutely was in no way going to backfire on them until it did.

In just 27 days, someone will be the new lucky owner of…

🧻 Benko’s toilet roll holder (current bid €70)

🏢 A scale model of a landmark Signa development, which may or may not end up being worth more than equity in the development itself! (Current bid €160)

🏆 The tombstone for a bond sale. (Current bid €130; last bond price 0.05 on the euro.)

💲 This state-of-the-art labelling device, meaning you can literally put a price on anything. (Current bid €20.)

🧺 Or perhaps you also have a lot of stuff to launder? (Current bid €110)

Furnishings by Vitra and Noguchi, e-bikes, two European Real Estate Brand awards, beanbags, pre-filled wastepaper bins, sales brochures and a snowglobe also feature across the auction site’s three (1, 2, 3) listings pages, where doormats have emerged as coveted souvenirs. (Current bid €500.)

Pickup only from Palais Harrach, District 1, Vienna.

Further reading:
— Signa unravelled: inside René Benko’s debt-laden property empire (FT)
— Signa sold prized KaDeWe property at cut price (FT)
— How Austria’s political elite helped René Benko’s rise (FT)