How to lose customers and infuriate people

‘They are not there to help. They are on defence, interested only in pacifying people till they shut up and go away’

A letter from Google, Apple and Facebook

You pay tax because you have no better ideas how to use the money. We do

Google and the search for a great tax deal

‘Inspired by the tech giant, I have decided to pay my taxes this year’

Osborne tries to sell ex-deputy to China

‘We haven’t singled you out as a place to send deadbeat politicians. We send them everywhere’

Peak new kitchen

‘Once, I cared only whether the tap worked; now I am surrounded by options. We are not buying a kitchen, we are buying into a lifestyle’

Back to the teenage future

‘I had to admire the democratic nature of the boy’s sloth’

Remembering Bowie: my tribute to me

A lone writer’s attempt to jump on the bandwagon of journalists supposedly praising him but actually talking about themselves

Triumph of a teenage tactician

‘We had not anticipated being comprehensively outmanoeuvred when the showdown arrived’

F63PBA Tech Support and Troubleshooting Team Expert as Concept

You can’t get the digital domestic help

Imagine if the world’s leading politicians each had their own Zuckerberg-style robotic butler

Rock of ages

‘There are rules to rock concerts. We have to marvel that the star returned for three encores — an extra six songs that almost took his performance time over two hours’

Star Wars — may the bores be with you

‘No one thinks your Yoda impressions are funny. In fact, avoid quoting Star Wars lines generally’

The angry features that Twitter lacks

Misogynist Pro: With its toolkit of offensive GIFs, this is the ultimate in woman-hating software

Great American texts according to Trump

The controversial presidential candidate could possibly have a unique take on US history

Time to reduce our Sugar intake

‘Whatever merits this show once had I ain’t seeing them any more . . . So Alan, we’re tired of it’

Benn would have respected his son

Tony would regret Hilary’s position; but he would endorse the courage of his political convictions

Votes at 16, and other burning issues

‘The main argument for me against votes for 16s is less their readiness but more the effect it will have on the already miserable nature of political campaigning’

Cameron’s cunning plan for bombing Syria

The questions over extending air raids answered in 43 key points

A great escape and Mao’s Little Red Book

The Tories are lucky in their enemy as the chancellor got away with his humiliating climbdown

In cinemas soon: RoboAccountant

‘With the threat from automation more economic than cinematic, it may be necessary to rethink a number of much-loved movies’

Out of the groove

‘Sometimes progress diminishes us but most of the time new technology thrives because it improves our experience’


Robert Shrimsley Robert Shrimsley is the Managing Editor of Before this he has served as the FT’s chief political correspondent and news editor.

He writes weekly for the Notebook column, a satirical look at the week’s news and for the FT weekend Magazine.

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