‘I cannot think of anything better than a proliferation of coffee shops over tedious pubs’

‘The moment I was wheeled in, I knew this was nothing like my preconception of an A&E department’

‘It is English-speaking and the standard of Chinese food is excellent, unlike other European capitals’

‘It’s delightful to pretend that one has a 300-acre estate in the middle of London’

‘In Pyongyang, Kim Jong Un’s tailor cut me a ‘Kim’ suit: medium brown in colour with slightly flared trousers’

‘Your acquaintance is probably using it as a term of endearment — but at your age why are you bothered what you are called’

The doors are too heavy, you can’t change a flat tyre, and it makes you appear either devious or paranoid

China regards the handover from Britain two decades ago as an unalloyed success

‘Was this stratospherically powerful man really making small talk about Chinese food and jackets?’

‘When asked a binary question, a politician’s answer should be “yes” or “no”, a practice that is beyond 99.99% of them’

Just remember: if you ever decide to remonstrate with a cabbie, make sure you can run just slightly faster than him

‘Board members have had it too good for too long . . . let’s “out” them from their snug seats of complacency’

‘Sometimes, especially in Asia, variations of the tapering consist of an origami butterfly or pyramid. All of which are irritating’

‘If your father is indifferent to music, he might as well hang a horn, trombone, trumpet and tuba on his wall’