Technophile: Hans Snook can’t wait for teleportation

What’s in your pocket?

An SPV 500 mobile on the Orange network. I use it to check share prices and download music. Unfortunately, it takes three to five minutes to download a track unless you are on third-generation (3G) mobile. I do have a 3G phone but not in my pocket.

First crush?

Pagers. I thought they were fantastic when I first came across them while in real estate in Canada. Then I ended up running pager businesses in Hong Kong, including a very fast service on the Rabbit telepoint network.

True Love?

I went to the loo when visiting Panasonic in Japan and found a strange contraption, with all the instructions in Japanese. I saw a button and wondered what it did. So I pressed it and a huge jet of water shot into my face. Now I think its hi-tech toilets are great. You can set the temperature of the seat, there’s a bidet function and you can be dried with warm scented air.

Latest squeeze?

I’ve got my eye on an Apple that will run Windows too. But I’m waiting for the one where you won’t have to reboot the computer to switch between operating systems.

What makes you mad?

The congestion charge in London. Charles [Dunstone of mobile phone retailer Carphone Warehouse] is going to have to pay it to drive for 10 minutes to have tea with me.

Most embarrassing moment?

My hair used to be very long and one day I was deep in thought and noticed tangles of smoke rising. I wondered vaguely what they were, till I smelt a horrible smell and realised I’d set myself on fire. I haven’t given up smoking, but my hair is much shorter now.

What would you most love to see?

A cost-effective form of teleportation. It would be great for the environment if you could be beamed to the place you want to be without having to catch a plane there.

If money was no object?

I can’t see the the point of taking on the worry of yacht or jet ownership, when it’s just as easy to hire one for a week. But when I was at Orange, I would have equipped the call centre in Darlington with the Panasonic toilets if they hadn’t cost about £5,000 each then.

PC or Mac?

Both. I have an Apple iMac G5 and a Windows laptop. When I first tried the iMac, I didn’t find it intuitive at all because I was used to Windows. So I moved it to my house in the country and used it for downloading photos and music. Then, I tried to do the same things on Windows and found it much harder.

Linux or Windows?

Windows. I use a version of it on my mobile to send e-mails and store phone numbers.

Google or not?

Google. It just seems to be the easiest, the fastest and the most comprehensive.

How wrong have you been?

I completely underestimated how long it would take for manufacturers to come up with a mobile device that can do everything almost instantaneously with good battery life. It still hasn’t arrived.

Company to watch?

Apple. Steve Jobs is a true innovator.

Leftfield technology?

Massage chairs. It’s an old technology that’s improved massively. I got one for Christmas that can sense where there’s any tension, or give you an all over massage. It’s not quite as good as a Thai massage, but not far off. When I’m working on my laptop, I put my feet up and get it to massage my calves. So work is bliss.