The news that David Rubenstein, co-founder of the private equity firm Carlyle, has bought a rare copy of the Magna Carta raises some concerns for the future.

People will be understandably worried at the thought of key human rights falling into private equity’s hands. Carlyle is a serious money-making machine and Mr Rubenstein will surely be looking for a good return on his £10.6m investment. After refinancing the debt and taking a £14m dividend he will set up a new management fees structure before rationalising the dozens of articles – many of which are overlapping. He is also understood to be exploring the acquisition of the US constitution, which would offer valuable synergies and cost savings.

After this, analysts expect that a number of the human rights will be spun off and sold separately. A consortium led by KKR and including Bain Capital is said to be interested in the property rights and common law entitlements.

Mr Rubenstein is also understood to be studying other cost-saving initiatives including outsourcing habeas corpus to China.

The Carlyle chief is expected to hold on to Magna Carta for about five years before “flipping” the deal, selling it on to Amnesty International for around £20m.

A Capello

Questions have been raised about new England soccer coach Fabio Capello’s lack of fluency in the English language. He has vowed to learn it rapidly but in the meantime the FT is happy to assist with a few of the key phrases without which he will not be able to function in his job:

Abbiamo sempre previsto che la partita contro l’Andorra fuori casa sarebbe stata dura, Garth.

We always knew Andorra away would be a tough game, Garth.

Tre leoni sulla mia maglietta.

Three lions on my shirt.

Sette zeri sul mio contratto.

Seven zeros on my contract.

Scusate il mio inglese. Ma nessuno mi ha detto niente in rispetto al performance-related bonus?

I’m sorry my English is not so good – but no one said anything about a performance-related bonus?

Nessuna guerra mondiale – e quattro coppe del mondo, doo da.

No world wars and four world cups, doo da doo da.

Banx cartoon

Fatemi capire: avete mogli e fidanzate?

So let me get this right, you have wives and girlfriends?

Le Spice Girls erano molto meglio dopo la partenza di Geri.

I agree, the Spice Girls were far better after Geri left.

No, non possiamo fare gruppo al ChinaWhite.

No we can’t have our team-building sessions at ChinaWhite.

Ammetto che non è stato il risultato voluto. Però, sono fiero del modo in cui abbiamo giocato stasera.

I know it wasn’t the result we wanted but I’m proud of the way we played tonight.

L’arbitro è uno stronzo.

The referee was not all we might have hoped for.

Abbiamo subito molti infortuni
– e inoltre siamo già impegnati
con i saldi di Harvey Nicols.

We had a lot of injuries – and prior commitments at the Harvey Nicks winter sale.

I club mi hanno detto che diversi giocatori sono fuori uso e il massaggiatore sta curando le loro doppie punte.

Many of the clubs reported players unavailable and the physio is working on several with badly split ends.

Forse avremmo dovuto allenarci di più. Ma chi avrebbe mai pensato che la partita si decidesse ai rigori?

Perhaps we should have practised more but what were the odds of a penalty shoot-out?

Deve non piacermi quello.

Do I not like that.

Infatti, scoprirete che Luigi ha una nonna inglese.

Actually, I think you’ll find Luigi has an English grandmother.

Non avevo alcun idea che FA stesse per Football Association.

I had no idea FA also stood for Football Association.

La segretaria è inclusa nel contratto?

Does the job come with a secretary?

Dai, dammi il tuo numero di cellulare Abramovich.

Just give me your mobile number, Mr Abramovich.

Se mi volete cacciare, voglio la buonuscita.

If you want me out, pay me off.

La Grande Fuga – quello è il film con Steve McLaren?

The Great Escape – was that the one with Steve McClaren?

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