Catastrophically muddled, pseudo-scientific piffle, Transcendencestars Johnny Depp as a “genius scientist” working “in the field of artificial intelligence” which in movies means “likes to peddle a comic-book existentialism”. Computers, humans, the brain – ah, it’s all so fascinating and mystifying isn’t it? Unfortunately it’s still mystifying when the movie is over. Depp is targeted by anti-technology extremists and winds up kind of half dead, but still very fussy about interiors. His subterranean fiefdom is spotless, although as ever, Depp looks as though he could do with a bath. One wonders, momentarily, if Depp’s trademark grubbiness was ever the subject of battles at an executive level. That and his mannered, wide-eyed stare. The only part of this actor still genuinely dynamic is his hair. I’m worried.