US stocks emerged from a deathly dull patch on Thursday, with a “huge” decline… of 0.22 per cent.

Deutsche Bank analyst Jim Reid pointed out yesterday that with 10 of the preceding 11 trading sessions resulting in moves under 0.2 per cent higher or lower, the key US stock market was stuck in one of its longest ruts since 1927. (Read more on that here.)

But on Thursday, there were signs of life. Small ones.

Mr Reid said the “earth shattering” decline was “believe it or not”, the biggest fall in the index since April 21. He’s still itching for more excitement in his life, however:

The favourite for tomorrow’s Eurovision is an Italian man who dances alongside an ape. How on earth are we supposed to compete with that?

Things have been so quiet this week that an ape walking down our trading floor would have been a welcome distraction.

Analysts have put the soporific market conditions, which are affecting not only stocks, partly down to a lack of clarity on policies from the Trump administration.

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