In the category of make-big-news-seem-so-unimportant-people-might-just-miss-it, I would like to nominate today’s press release from Louis Vuitton, entitled “LVMH announces that Jordi Constans will join Louis Vuitton.”

Now, say that arrived in your inbox. What would you think? Who is Jordi Constans? what will he do? Does this matter to me?

My guess is you would not think: “he is going to replace famed CEO of 21 years Yves Carcelle, the man who has helped power that brand to huge profits, and this could rock the share price,” right? In fact, it’s not until the end of the first paragraph that the announcement notes Mr Constans “will succeed Mr Carcelle.” As to what he will succeed Mr Carcelle as — well there’s is no official title actually in the document.

So what’s the point here? To lessen any market fear? To respect Mr Carcelle, who will spend the next year teaching Mr Constans the ropes? To give Mr Constans a final grace period of relative anonymity? To make LV designer Marc Jacobs, rumoured to be considering swapping his Vuitton job for Dior, feel even more tenuously attached to his brand? What do you think? As for me, I think this is about as mysterious a corporate release as I have ever seen.

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