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When contemplating embarking upon any career, one must carefully consider its benefits and drawbacks and adjust one’s outlook accordingly. A fireman cannot enjoy the uniform, then complain about the dangers of fire. A teacher mustn’t revel in the holidays while whining about the ghastly infants in their charge. A journalist should not gloat at his fabulous wealth and rock-solid prospects, and gripe about his advancing delusional psychosis.
By the same token, a professional stick-up artist should enjoy the flexible hours and squalid romance of his occupation but keep quiet vis-à-vis the unpredictable earnings. This courtesy was recently ignored by a gunman who, having robbed a drive-through fast-food restaurant in Atlanta, later called to complain about his haul. “Next time,” he is reported to have said, “there better be more than $586.”
This is not only ungrateful, but tactless. Not only is $586 a decent evening’s reward, it represents a vastly higher wage, pro-rata, than that earned by the terrified employee who handed it over. Should the robber indeed return, he should be handed an etiquette manual along with the loot.