Wouldn’t it be great to have an understudy to call one’s own?
A pert and eager doppelgänger could take my place when I’m not feeling quite up to it
Pass the parcel
‘The man from the Amazon’ staggered in under the weight of 14 boxes, his head obscured from view
That stationery feeling
It’s the autumn term at last, a time for reinvention and rigour . . . except, none of it is forthcoming this year
Love and friendship
I don’t know what the completed jigsaw is but I had the sense my friend might be the missing piece
Making the grade
Now that I’m being asked to judge things nine times a day, I feel it’s healthy for things to stay mysterious
If you make your bed . . .
The bed making becomes a metaphor for how you do everything. You will go about life restoring order and harmony
Just what the doctor ordered
Recently I have wondered which of my routines I would stick to if I had only a year to live
An ice-cream shop moment
Children do most of their growing through the summer holidays because they are less stressed than in term-time, and stress stunts growth
The world’s a stage
People don’t go to ‘maybe I’ll like it’ shows when they could go to ‘you’re going to love it’ ones
When the plot thickens
Sometimes the events of real life are so far-fetched and fantastical that they make writers feel deskilled
Good knowing you, Mrs Florrick
Part of the appeal of ‘The Good Wife’ was that almost everything took place beneath her immaculate surfaces
The sunny side of Bing
Watching ‘White Christmas’ with a flourishing rose bed visible from my window — well, it was a first
Piano bar blues
‘I taught my children, to thine own self be true,’ the pianist said. ‘I think it may have been a mistake’
The economy of praise
One woman’s ‘good’ is sturdy praise, while another’s has notes of sympathy attached
Shall we dance?
‘I have always seen sorrow in dance, in part because of what the life of a dancer costs the body’
What lies in store
Department stores are like novels about growing up, each floor exposing you to expectations about living
Don’t regale me with your holiday plans
What is it that provokes people’s need to flee? What is that airplane-shaped hole they are trying to plug really about?
The heights of mediocrity
I once thought that excellence was the pinnacle, the thing to go for in life, and anything less was a miscued ball
Misery, murder and a maths high
‘The Archers’ becomes a soundtrack to your domestic life and goes in very deep, somehow
Footnotes are not fancy-free
Bone-dry by their very nature, footnotes must also be dashing, recherché and altruistic. Who knew?
Get your excuses in early
All this ‘pre’-ing makes it clear we are a step ahead, in control, not just on top of the game but winning
Measures for pleasure
In the happiness economy, four small jolly occurrences might affect you more than a large piece of good news
Nesselrode pudding
Oysters Christian Dior, omelette Arnold Bennett: is there a better legacy than having a dish named after you?
