I am disgusted at the state of investment banking research. Ever since the regulators called foul in 2001/02, research has been watered down, boring, uninspired, and mostly useless. The people I know in the research world hop around from job to job, hoping the industry doesn’t flame out before they retire with five million in the bank. That’s great. Good luck guys.

And what do you do for this luxury? Well, pull out Excel, figure out the 2009 numbers for every line of the business. Assume profit margins go down 1-2 per cent a year. Assume customers go up 2-5 per cent a year. Depreciate the equipment. Appreciate the real estate. Amortise the expenses. List all the things that can go wrong (“competition can encroach”; “customers can lose interest in product”; “housing bubble can cause real estate prices to fall”, and so on). Slap on a price target. And, finally, give a rating (“peer perform” is my favourite). Bam! It’s a living. Or is it?