“The food at this place is really terrible,” says one elderly lady. “I know, and such small portions,” replies another. Woody Allen’s gem was not written with trading equities in mind, but it might have been. There is a lot about the business that is unappetising, but still the banks can’t seem to get enough of it. Commissions are under pressure, the technology costs keep rising and, cut it anyway you like, helping clients with their equity-related needs – there are thousands of stocks and lots of different ways to trade them – is an expensive proposition. There are easier ways of delivering good returns, even if equities consume relatively little capital.

That is in the good times. Right now, revenues must be dropping like a stone, in Europe especially, where commissions are calculated as a percentage of the value of trades. Meanwhile, hedge funds and others are cashed up to the eyeballs with no sign of stepping back into the markets.