Gratuitous cruelty to animals is bad. No sane person disputes this. Even the most enthusiastic carnivore prefers to believe that his dinner has lived happily and died painlessly, hence the premiums attending free-range produce. But it is perhaps because so many of those most fervently concerned with animal welfare are vegetarians that they fail to consider that meat-eaters are not, by definition, cruel.

From such misunderstandings flower such glorious nonsenses as a new campaign from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (Peta). Seeking to educate children about fisheries issues, Peta suggests we redesignate fish as "sea kittens". The pressure group reasons that we don't regard the hunting of kittens as acceptable sport, so if we came to associate fish with kittens, we'd cease amusing ourselves by tempting creatures of the deep with hook-secreting worms (one awaits Peta's attempt to reposition worms as "dirt puppies").