On Wednesday, for one day only, several thousand of the unemployed and unemployable will make their way into UK workplaces. Most will have exceptionally low IQs and will be capable of following only the simplest instructions. Many also will have halitosis and be inclined to behave with inappropriate friendliness or sudden hostility.

The occasion is Take Your Dogs to Work Day, an event that its organisers promise will raise morale and productivity – and money for the charity behind it.