I was ugly from about sixth grade all the way through high school. The worst was in high school. I had braces, acne, glasses and dark curly hair. I didn’t play any sports – my only real hobby was playing chess and I read a lot of comic books.

Basically, no girl was chasing me. I used to pretend my television was a computer that could tell me which girl in my classes was in love with me. The TV knew but it didn’t know how to output the answer to me, so I just waited.