As spirits sink and tempers rise, the main players in Gordon Brown’s government have embarked on a knock-out round of the blame game. Well up the field is striker Jacqui “Jackboots” Smith, home secretary, currently at the centre of the row over government plans to lock people up for 42 days without charging them or telling them why. If you think you are unhappy about this pointless attack on fundamental freedoms, you should hear Ms Smith’s views! Apparently she has been asking why this has to be done – and, if it does have to be done, why now? She blames Mr Brown but the prime minister is deaf to her pleas – so much so, I am told, that they have had a serious falling out in the past week.

“Jacqui’s the stool pigeon – the one who has really been hung out to dry and who’s having to have all these meetings with recalcitrant MPs,” reported one Whitehall knight sipping a gin and tonic before plumping for gazpacho and prawns in herb butter.