If anybody ever asks me what I did in the cold war, I have an answer: I stopped traffic in Mayfair – from Park Lane to Savile Row, I was told – for an hour or two.

I achieved this victory for the forces of freedom by calling the police after one of the employees at the Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty news bureau passed a metal detector over a suspicious-looking package that had been delivered to our offices on South Audley Street, causing the device to let out a loud squawk.