Perhaps it is the cold nights of November drawing in, or possibly just a rank bad mood. But I ask: has there been anything so repellent in British cultural life as the new song and video by the Spice Girls? It is called “Headlines (Friendship Never Ends)”, a title that hints at the momentousness of the much heralded reunion of the five women after several years of moody estrangement.

To judge by the video, it is the kind of reunion I imagine when the former states of Yugoslavia get together to discuss mutual sewage needs. They slink into a dark room in slow motion and adopt a series of pouts and poses that would shame a $10 drag act. The two members of the group who consider themselves sufficiently thin to be attractive are semi-disrobed. The others remain shrouded and shadowy. None of them relates to any of their freshly reacquainted friends. The sophistication of digital trickery forces us to ask: are they in the same room?