Strange things happen when a venerable, staid, rather dull old institution tries to rebrand itself as new, fresh and edgy.

And that’s just Bournemouth, where the kids are now starting to shove aside the ancients with results the local Conservatives might have predicted: “Teenager in heathland arson”, “Samaritan in glass attack”, “Shopkeeper in iron bar threat”. And I still haven’t got past page eight of Monday’s Daily Echo.