The beauty business has evolved dramatically since Charles Revson, the founder of Revlon, declared that what his industry sold was “hope, in a jar.” Now, with an enlightened consumer who sees through marketing ploys, and with the scrutiny of regulatory bodies and advertising standards agencies that question every claim, the industry is no longer in the business of selling dreams. Rather, it sells results. Think about it: if the products didn’t work, do you seriously think people would be buying them in such significant numbers?

Witness my left hand, testament to the efficacy of skin creams. For the past 20 years, it has been the proving ground for any new product to hit my desk, and it bears noticeably fewer pigmentation spots, lines and wrinkles than its twin on my right. A dermatologist once guessed I was a keen golfer with a villa in Portugal because of this discrepancy (the only other occupation for someone with this pattern of skin ageing being long-distance lorry driving in Australia). And I’m not just my own best lab rat, I’ve also read the research papers, questioned the scientists and visited the laboratories.