The exciting news that the ban on product placement on commercial television companies might soon be lifted has prompted talk of a cash windfall for the broadcast sector. No doubt we can all look forward to images of rugged TV detectives sipping Magners Cider and walking around in their Calvin Klein smalls, while teary girlfriends blow their noses on strategically placed Kleenex Balsam tissues.

But few have considered how this step is bound to affect output. Our TV screens will become full of aspirational, glamorous television. For who wants to associate their products with the usual line-up of dysfunctional losers that are the mainstay of British TV? Oh, you might buy a pint of beer if Inspector Morse drinks it, but would you really wear his aftershave.