Cruise ship passengers have a habit of arriving tired, jet-lagged and sometimes without their luggage. So it was that two preppy young Americans waltzed into the Rome salon of Brioni, the tailor who dresses statesmen. "I need a tuxedo and a blazer," said the husband. "And we have to be on a bus to the ship in three hours," said the wife.
The tuxedo probably cost the same as his cruise ticket, but Brioni blazers, at least in Rome, are a snip at £1,000.
Our seven-night cruise from Rome to Barcelona had a mix of 65 per cent North Americans and 35 per cent Europeans, but Silversea is making a sales push in Europe, touting 30 new ports next year and featuring itineraries around South Africa and Mauritius.
One Silversea regular, a Surrey physician, explained the attraction: "We like the pampering by people who know what they are doing. And they are lovely, small ships." This is true. Silver Cloud and Silver Wind take 296 passengers, Silver Shadow and Silver Whisper 382. They look good. Any marine architect, it is said, can design a handsome bow, but it takes an artist to give a ship a fine stern.
Our first stop after Rome was Livorno, gateway for the glories of Tuscany. Most went to Florence to see David after his wash and brush-up, Pisa pulled a few but I went to Lucca to pay my respects to Puccini. Caesar was here, and later the bumptious Napoleon who gave the town, briefly, to his sister.
Sorrento was a good call, but the $185 shore excursion by bus to Positano was a bit rich. Two passengers had a bargain visit for €10 on the local ferries. One thing they did not get, however, was the slap-up lunch at the elegant San Pietro hotel with its sensational clifftop setting.
A day at sea followed when we skirted Sardinia, then entered the port of Mahon in Minorca. Some took a tour, others a taxi - and at times there were helicopters and private launches available for those flourishing chequebooks - but the waterfront here is enthralling and quiet, not unlike a sleepy Greek island. We walked for miles, then succumbed to the charms of a seafood restaurant.
The next day we were in Palma, and lunched splendidly at the scenic Valldemossa restaurant, also a boutique hotel, and a short stroll from the monastery where Chopin and George Sand infamously spent the winter of 1838. This meal was deservedly not cheap, and the experience over these two days brought home the message that eating, drinking and sleeping well at the best places in Europe can quite likely give you a bigger bill than a cruise line ticket. And with the ship, you only have to unpack once.
What to do? Some hung out at the pool bar and made friends. Others kept to themselves. There was no bingo, but a small casino and revue-style shows, the latter a platform for cruise director Ray Solaire to show off his rare talent.
There was a lecture on Velázquez, wine tasting, Spanish lessons, and indulgent sessions at the Mandara Spa. If you hate to be away from it all there is the computer room with internet connections. The average age of the passengers was in the 40s, including honeymooners - one of them an American (married to a Scot) who wore full Highland dress to dinner.
There was probably more Brioni about last year when Russian president Vladimir Putin chartered Silver Whisper for the G8 summit in St Petersburg. Unlike shoreside hotels, which rarely have a large number of identical grand rooms, Silver Whisper sports 13 Silver suites, so that Jacques Chirac did not have to settle for smaller digs than Tony Blair.
Generally though, there's not a lot of talk about money on board because the cost of a Silversea cruise includes tips, wine and drinks.
Every cabin comes with a couple of bottles, just to get one started you understand, and the house wine was a good champagne you don't see around much. Apparently Silversea used to have one of the big brand names, but after comments about it being a bit ordinary, the line went for something it felt was better. All cabins are roomy, and most have a balcony where you can tan au naturel, moon the Italian Navy, or just have breakfast in your bathrobe. Room service will deliver a full dinner, course by course, so you never have to venture beyond your cabin door. We called for caviar and "some champagne," with a glass each in mind. A full bottle arrived. Grazie.
At dinner the first night some passengers had not been holding back at the sailing away party, or perhaps it was the jet lag, so we asked Jorge, a head waiter, to find us another table. Jorge did the necessary on that night and many more, reminding me of the words of the late oil tycoon and bon vivant Nubar Gulbenkian, who said the ideal number for a dinner party was two - "myself and a damn good head waiter".
Lore has it that people cruise for the food. The meals on board were what you'd expect in a good European restaurant, and the service is of the same standard. For example, on our cruise we had Michelin-starred chefs on board - but unlike most restaurants, the menu is just a suggestion. Some passengers opted for caviar every night and any special request was met, simply by having a word with any of the head waiters.
Passengers can eat when they want, with whom they want, and in the evening there is a choice of three restaurants including Le Champagne, an intimate fine-dining room. Premium wines are available, but we found the free, house wines quite acceptable.
Our suite was big enough for a cocktail party, and the bar was restocked so efficiently that even the mildest attempt to do it justice would have resulted in cabin-door signs of the Jeffrey Bernard Is Unwell variety. Ah yes, the suite - we had a large spa bath, separate shower, big plasma TV screen, DVD player, VCR, dining table with fresh flowers, a Hugh Hefner-sized bed and binoculars for the balcony, while the dressing area was bigger than the cabins on some lesser ships.
Well, the Brionis have to go somewhere.
