COMMENT I'm sitting in one of my favourite seats, on one of my favourite airlines, heading to my current favourite city. The only thing that could improve my mood would be seat 2A instead of 73K (upper deck on All Nippon Airlines), a cabin full of my best friends, a trolley serving curry rice and banana milkshakes from Bape Café and a better selection of movies.
I'd like to know which friend or person in Charlize Theron's employment hoodwinked ANA and goodness knows how many other airlines into buying Aeon Flux? If you've missed it, or have never heard of it, then count yourself lucky. If it happens to show up on your in-seat flatscreen in the weeks to come, send a letter to the airline in question and demand some kind of partial compensation or 20,000 extra Air Miles. Airlines that rank at the top of their game should work a bit harder at coming up with a more intelligent, challenging roster of films for their patrons. Having just lived through Mission: Impossible III (I know, but it was a Sunday evening moment of quality-threshold collapse), airline entertainment programmers can give this a swerve as well.
Travel, particularly flying, could be much more pleasant if airlines, airport operators and the services that support them actually employed people who have an intimate knowledge of how their passengers live, and who put themselves in such a mindset when making service decisions. Here are a few ideas for airports, handling companies, airlines, hotel groups and travel retailers to think about when considering how they might improve their businesses and sharpen their overall customer experience.
1. Beyond monolingual newsstands
You could almost be forgiven for thinking the UK was a country populated, visited and transited exclusively by English speakers - particularly if you visit a branch of WH Smith at any of the UK's main transport hubs. How news retailers at the world's busiest international airport can get away with stocking a handful of international newspapers and next to no international magazines is insulting to the millions of passengers who keep the place ticking over. Moreover, it shows a complete misunderstanding of market potential. Heathrow should boast the best newsstands in the world, rather than kiosks that devote far too much space to low-brow weeklies.
2. Don't ask me twice
Attention all managers in charge of airline ground services. Why do you insist on asking to see frequent flier cards for lounge access when the number and status is in evidence on the boarding pass? The last thing your top customers want to do is fish around for their wallets or handbags to find their cards. Surely there's a more seamless way of approaching this matter.
3. The net's not always the answer
We're getting very close to point where too many services reside almost exclusively on the web. Could it be time to put a bit of humanity back in the customer-service mix? That passengers are penalised for not booking on the web is offensive enough. Why should a customer be charged a fee when they may not have internet access on a given weekend in Tuscany, or when they're hurtling down the highway? At the same time, why do some airlines only operate their call centres just beyond the margins of normal business hours? If their aircraft fly around the clock, shouldn't phones be manned 24 hours a day, too?
4. All-inclusive or nickel and dime?
Five-star hotel groups that charge €10 for a broadband connection look petty, particularly when the room rate is €550. A neater, more elegant solution might be bundling such essential services into the total price.
5. Two doors are better than one
One of the more rewarding, small pleasures of finally getting to gate 56 for your flight to Dalian is being able to glide straight down the ramp and through the aircraft door instead of queuing in an extendable steel shipping container. Why is that many airports (particularly the European and North American variety) don't bother using their second air bridge to board larger aircraft? Asian hubs don't come tops just because they have better shopping: they also know how to board passengers more efficiently and usually use two doors.
6. Trolleys for all
First, trolleys should always be free. Second, they should be able to go everywhere passengers go - train platforms, shops, beyond security et al.
7. On or off?
In America you can use your phone the second you land, on some European carriers you have to step outside the aircraft to make a call, and on other carriers you sit in fear of getting a clip round the ear because you don't know what the rules are. We need a global standard for mobile phone use on aircraft.
8. Bussing basics?
A bus from aircraft to arrivals is not always a bad thing, particularly when you might have to walk 1.5km laden with luggage, purchases and trolley. A bus from aircraft to arrivals is bad when they make front-of-aircraft passengers wait 15 minutes until they fill it up and subject all passengers to coaches not fit for shifting livestock.
9. Brushing up
Longer flatbeds, more movies, a better wine selection and fancy amenities are all great marketing tools, but what about a return to the basics? I'd like to see an airline and perhaps a hotel group start selling spotless aircraft and rooms as an essential part of their brand experience. A hygienic aircraft should be a right, not a luxury.
10. Brushing up - part two
Are toiletry kits really necessary on long-haul flights? Some airlines have started a pass around, pick and mix concept that's far less wasteful and seems more personalised. It may not be great news for collectors of little nylon bags, but it's certainly better for both the environment and the airlines' challenged bottom lines.
More columns at www.ft.com/brule
