I would just never cut it as a gaucho. While the notion of life as an enigmatic loner, wandering the Pampas of Argentina with only a sturdy knife and a trusty steed for company, may have a romantic frisson, in reality I'm useless on horseback, have no aptitude for cattle ranching and don't look attractive in the traditional loon pants known as bombachas.
In one of the gaucho's traditional skills, however, I do have a fighting chance: preparing a good steak. Like any meat-eating male with a bag of briquettes and a penchant for scorching cocktail sausages, I'm keen to flex my barbecue muscles come the first hint of summer. Now, thanks to a trip to Buenos Airesand a crash course in the art ofthe grill at a legendary steakhouse,I can hold my head up high as a bone fide grillmaster.
So it is on a sunny Saturday afternoon we gather at La Cabaña, in the city's fashionable Recoleta district, for the three-hour Argentine Barbecue Master course.
La Cabaña works with more than 3,000kg of top-quality meat per month, sourced from 75 farms in the wet pampas region around the city. The meat is hung for 30 days to make it more tender and sealed in plastic wrapping before delivery. The most popular steak in the restaurant is the Baby Beef (a 14oz cut off the rib, similar to a sirloin or Porterhouse), which retails for £8.50. The King's Beef, a new 43.9oz rib-eye named after King Carlos of Spain, is now on the menu at £20.
Beyond the understated facade, an open kitchen gives way to an opulent dining room with a series of ÂÂprivate rooms tucked away in discreet alcoves. Modern artworks adorn the walls and two giant cow statues guard the entrance, while the centrepiece is a traditional Argentine asado, an open fire of glowing coals over which cuts of meat are cooked on a spit. While we prepare for class, the staff, attired in sleek, black uniforms and going about their business with a cosmopolitan air, busy themselves by preparing the covers for the evening service.
The course combines theoretical tuition on the different cuts of meat with a practical application of barbecue techniques. Hence, before we are let loose with a hot grill and a huge tenderloin, we first eschew the aprons for notepads and pens.
Grill chef Daniel Leguisamo starts by examining the 19 most commonly used cuts of meat used in Argentina (from a possible 27), far more than other meat-eating countries.
As we group around a pin-the-tail-on-the-cow-style display board, Daniel points out how several cuts would not even make it on to French menus while, in keeping with the gaucho tradition, every part of the animal is used in La Cabaña's kitchen.
Different cuts have different flavours and the oven, fired with quebracho blanco, a slow-burning wood from the northeast of Argentina, ensures that the meat cooks slowly, maintaining its flavour and absorbing some of the wood's distinct perfume.
After a round of choripan, bread toasted over the grill stuffed with a grilled sausage and accompanied by a glass of Argentina's favourite varietal, Malbec, we wrap up with the 10 commandments of a good grill, notably that the meat is cooked from room temperature and the embers moved to distribute the heat evenly during cooking.
Aprons on and hands scrubbed, we then start gently with the practical session, the preparation of the sweetmeats, kidneys and blood sausages to whet the appetite and test our ability to weather the furnace-like fury of the grill. When I am suitably warmed up, head chef Damian Gelati, who will visit London to cook for the Harrods festival of Argentine food and drink next month, rolls up his sleeves and takes me to one side. It's time to go to work.
With the smell of sizzling meat whipping my gastric juices to a frenzy, we move on to the house speciality: the lomo, or tenderloin medallion, also known as the Argentine diamond.
A 1.9kg slab of pure meat with a £3 per kg market value, the preparation is as simple as it is brutal. Under Damian's watchful eye, I remove the fat with a viciously sharp knife, cut off a 400kg portion and pummel it furiously to soften the meat.
"Imagine it's the face of someone you hate," smiles Gelati and hesets about the meat with bare knuckles and a vaguely demented look in his eye.
"There are two secrets to preparing the perfect steak," he continues. "You have to maintain the temperature of the grill at a steady 120° centigrade and only turn the meat once during cooking so as not to loose the flavour."
The cooking itself is more straightforward. We first coat the grill in fat, rubbing the grease into the ridges to avoid sticking, and then sprinkle salt on to the meat. "The meat is cooked plain, not coated in sauces like they do in the United States," he winks with a note of pride.
We cook the steak for five minutes per side before serving it on a thermal plate. Prepared and served in a few minutes, the simplicity of the process ensures it retains the best of its natural flavour. In fact, the only condiment is a dash of chimichuri, a lightly spicy sauce of wine vinegar, garlic, laurel leaves, oregano, parsley, paprika and dry pepper.
The taste? Melt-in-the-mouth delicious and cooked to perfection - even if I do say so myself. I may never don a pair of chaps and herd steeds in the pampas but give me a knife, a slab of meat and a fine night in the back yard this summer and I'll be the original lone-riding gringo gaucho.
David Atkinson was a guest of The Caesar Park Hotel, Buenos Aires, tel: +54 11-4819 1121; www.caesar-park.com. Deluxe doubles from $275, including taxes and breakfast
HIGH STEAKS
■La Cabaña offers the course for US$150/£85per person, based on a minimum of two people and booked seven days in advance. The price includes one-on-one tuition, a book with tips on how to prepare the perfect steak, a barbecue apron and the use of up to 2kg of meat, which you eat for dinner afterwards (Tel: +54 11-4814 0001; www.lacabanabuenosaires.com.ar)
■Harrods will host a festival of Argentine produce from May 1-13, with a food and wine evening featuring the chef from La Cabaña on May 16; more from www.harrods.com.
■For more about travel in Argentina, contact Destino Argentina, tel: +54 11-4313 1900; www.destinoargentina.com.ar. In the UK, the Latin America Travel Association has details of UK-based operators to Argentina. Tel +44 (0)20-8715 2913; www.lata.org
