Gardens were not on the agenda. The purpose of the Chelsea Flower Show gala preview is not, as I have explained before, to preview any flowers. It represents the largest annual gathering of corporate Britain, the whole exercise paid for in large part by banks and other professional advisers (credit crunch? What credit crunch?) That the Chelsea preview is such a hot ticket is largely explained by the attraction it holds for the executive spouses – still largely female – who get to view the gardens, floral displays and other horticulture-related items in a crowd of around 5,000. This might sound busy, but it is positively sparse when you consider that about 700,000 people would pass through the Royal Hospital Road site during the next five days.

My executive (Australian) spouse does not do the flower show. That day he was playing golf at Royal Birkdale, on the 2008 Open Championship course, in the Financial Times Anglo Irish Bank business championship. His team members included MP and golfing writer Tim Yeo, National Farmers’ Union director general Richard Macdonald and stockbroker Nigel Marsh. The Mr M/Macdonald duo came in with a score of 42 and the Yeo/Marsh combo delivered 39, so on a total score of 81 they were leading for a while and busy working out how they could adjust their October schedules to make it to the finals in Portugal. Sadly for them, Wilson Decorators pipped them to the post with 84; but Nigel Marsh, the youngest member of the Moneypenny team, claimed the Nearest-the-Pin honours and was presented with an Odyssey White Hot putter. What is a White Hot putter? Sounds like something you might find in the obscure garden implements section of the Chelsea Flower Show.