When I was single and occasionally contemplated the idea of getting married, I didn’t think about dresses and shoes. I certainly didn’t picture the groom with or without “a giant brain and a noble head”, as the young girl imagines her perfect beau in Showboat. I didn’t even muse on the cake. No, all I dimly thought was: “If I get married one day, I’d like it if people sang my favourite hymn: ‘For Those in Peril on the Sea’.”

When that auspicious time arrived, “Impossible!” said the groom.