What do you need to marry an entrepreneur? Beauty? Wealth? Intelligence? Perhaps all three – but more than anything you should possess the virtue of tolerance.

By their nature, empire builders are obsessives who focus relentlessly on their careers. They feel they have a mission to create. And something in life normally has to give. That means a partner must be accommodating: willing to sacrifice almost everything for the business and willing to put up with the ego of their ambitious other half.

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Also, read Liza Johnson’s views below.

Moreover, most entrepreneurs I have worked with are never satisfied: “just enough” is not a concept that appeals to them. So all too often, once a target has been met, new challenges are set. This can take its toll on a relationship, and I suspect entrepreneurs have a higher divorce rate than average as a consequence.

Of course, this lust for glory is part of their appeal in the first place. No one marries an entrepreneur expecting them to be a pushover. But someone who is boss of all they survey can carry on barking out orders when they get home. I know one billionaire who dumped his first wife and then married his secretary. Sadly, he still treats her like an employee and their relationship is a sham. Hugely successful entrepreneurs don’t make for tranquil life companions as a rule.

Sometimes business owners partner their spouse to build a company. There is even a word for them – “copreneurs”. Gordon and the late Anita Roddick of the Body Shop are the classic example. Often a married couple can make a formidable team: living and working together, dreaming and striving night and day to develop an enterprise. This combination means bringing up a family can be quite a strain, but the self-employed tend to have high levels of energy and are good at coping.

Another interesting set-up is where each partner is an entrepreneur but they run different companies – for instance, Christian Rucker of The White Company and Nick Wheeler of Charles Tyrwhitt. They also have four children: life must be fairly hectic in their home. At least such partners know how entrepreneurs think and behave.

For some entrepreneurs it makes sense to marry later. By that time they have achieved a certain amount of material success and are probably searching for more balance in their lives. There is less pressure to work 100-hour weeks and prove themselves to the world. I know one mightily successful financial services entrepreneur who settled down and had two children in his late 40s, and now concentrates on travel, yoga and growing trees. He still competes, but since he made a fortune by the age of 40, money is no longer the principal objective.

The wealthy, mature entrepreneur must clearly beware gold diggers. This squalid breed has existed since time immemorial. Traditionally they were glamorous, unscrupulous women who used their looks to ensnare men of substance. I once tried to persuade a high-flying acquaintance not to marry an eastern European gold digger. He ignored my advice and, of course, his wife ostracised me completely. After only a few years they went through a very public divorce, which cost him several million pounds and a lot of legal fees – a painful lesson.

Entrepreneurs can have unrealistic expectations of their personal life. Their self-confidence can be so overpowering that they see their domestic situation as an extension of the office. They might want a partner to stimulate them intellectually – but they probably also want someone to organise a home, social life and family. They want a supportive listener who lets them make decisions – but they also like to be impressed. This can lead to mismatches and dashed expectations. Certain entrepreneurs deliberately marry achievers from a different sphere – the arts, public service, media – because they want an equal but not a competitor.

There is no remarkable formula that leads to happiness and an enduring relationship. Human emotions mean that someone who is only ever rational in commercial affairs can still be blind to the obvious pitfalls when in love. Somehow, that trait is more endearing than the idea of a money-making machine who cannot even get carried away in affairs of the heart.

lukej@riskcapitalpartners.co.uk

The writer is chairman of Channel 4 and runs Risk Capital Partners, a private equity group

View from the entrepreneur’s spouse:

Liza Johnson: Living with an entrepreneur is a mixed blessing. Their hours are often long, meetings sometimes spill into the evenings or weekends and the BlackBerry is ubiquitous - even occasionally appearing when we’re away on holiday.

The pressure can produce some surreal results. A few years ago we had a 4-day round trip to Vietnam - the trip was meant to last 10 days but Luke felt he had to get back to business in a hurry. Entrepreneurs take risks for a living so life is not quiet.

Depending on how deals go there can be highs and lows. Luke takes his career very seriously, but since we now have two very small children he has become much better at switching off. Having a spouse who is an entrepreneur is very inspiring, and I may well start or buy a business myself one day.

He gets great satisfaction from building companies and the freedom to control your own destiny is appealing. I worked for some years within the NHS, and know well the frustrations with bureaucracy that many people who work in large organisations suffer from.

I studied an MBA to learn more about business and being married to an entrepreneur has taught me a lot about the commercial world. Luckily I take a great interest in what he does, which helps compensate for the demands his work places on him - and me.