Waves of anxiety wash over me as I stand in the lobby of the The Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. I am supposed to be meeting Dame Helen Mirren, Oscar winner, Emmy winner and all-round doyenne of stage and screen, so I can lead her to our table at the hotel restaurant. It has been closed for lunch for several weeks but the hotel management has agreed to make an exception for us and open it, which is the sort of thing that only happens in Hollywood when your dining companion is an A-list star.

The only problem is that the restaurant is empty and I cannot find any staff so I face explaining to Mirren that we have to go elsewhere. As the minutes tick by I begin to devise an – admittedly stupid – alternative plan that involves me taking the current holder of the best actress Oscar to the Taco Bell a few blocks from the hotel. Fortunately, the restaurant manager appears. A picture of calm, he assures me our table is ready and that everything is under control. Seconds later, Mirren glides into the hotel.