Before you read this, get yourself a double espresso. Or have a couple of Diet Cokes. Or a latte with an extra shot. Or a grande skinny soya macchiato with a squirt of caramel. It doesn’t matter what form the caffeine comes in so long as the dose is large. There is a point to this, which I’ll explain in a minute.

For now it is enough to know I am changing the way I write columns. Over the past 13 years I have developed a technique that goes roughly like this: find something daft from the world of management. Give examples of how widespread it is, then use irony laced with reason to ridicule it. On this model I have written 600 columns, or 600,000 words. Last week I made the dismal discovery that all have been wasted.